Desperation

She blinked, and suddenly her back was against a wall and no amount of praying was letting her fall through it.  Instead it just seemed to become more and more solid, the same way it seemed like Eric got closer and closer with every breath she took.  As she had taken step after step away from him, trying to keep a respectful distance between them, he had taken step after step forward, doing his best to close that distance until she was cornered without even getting the chance to realize it.  She couldn't even remember what he had said to her about Emily, and any words she had tried to choke out in reply had gotten caught in her throat until they died and were forgotten.  Now she stood here, her back pushed against the wall with one of his strong arms blocking her escape path and his other hand touching lightly the bare skin of her wrist.  Oh, Lord in Heaven... she wouldn't know where to begin if someone were to see this. If Mark were to see this, there was no telling what he'd do to Eric. Mark could be an obnoxious, overbearing sort of man, but he loved her and had proven it on many an occasion.  Not the least of which was the ball when she was 18 and Mark broke his hand on the jaw of a suitor who had grown too forward for a proper gentleman.  Eric was so close to the same sort of thing right now. Oh, if only she didn't want it the way she did...!

"Mr. Banning, you are on dangerous grounds here... You remember how my brother handled the last man to overstep his bounds with me.  You were there... you saw it... I don't believe Mark would be any easier with you simply because we've known you since childhood..." she whispered to him.  But the more she spoke the heavy her chest felt, until with her last words she felt as if she would suffocate. Their eyes had locked and his lips were parted ever so slightly. She could feel every slow breath he exhaled, caressing over her face and the skin exposed on her neck and shoulders and the very tops of her... Her right hand suddenly shot out, slamming against Eric's chest and pushing back against him firmly.

"Eric..." she breathed out, trying to give him a warning but the word coming out too weak to convey it properly.  Oh, God, what was this?!

She was feeling it too, Eric could see it. He could feel it. Her voice trembled as she warned him of the boundaries he was about to cross. He hardly heard her. He hardly cared. He felt her hand turning into his touch. He let his fingers venture further up her arm towards her inner elbow. But that was when he suddenly felt her hand pressing against his chest. His own breath hitched. His own body's excitement had shot up ten points by the resistance she set against him. His left hand left the walk, quickly wrapping around the back of her right shoulder. His palm and fingers pressed themselves against the silk, beneath the lace collar of her gown. He felt the soft curve of her side and the small bump of her shoulder blade. He pulled his hand down her back, following her spine to the small of her back. Her lips curved in a second shuddered whisper of his name. Shivers ran down his spine and his fingers curled against her back. He'd dreamed in cold sweats of hearing her say his name that way. In the darkest, most sinful corners of his imagination he'd listened to her whisper and moan and scream his name just like that. It took all the self control he could muster not to ask her to say it again. He wanted to hear it again, needed to. But he wouldn't ask. Jessalyn was a proper lady. What must she think of this now? Certainly voicing his desires would further prove to turn her attentions far from him.

Eric slid his hand towards him across her back, then her side, before removing his fingers from her body. His other hand followed suit. He couldn't breath. He couldn't think. But he knew well enough to realize when her temptations to him became too great. He stood where he'd been, arms at his sides. Little by little he calmed his raging desires for her, staying silent until he was able to take one step away. "God give me strength, if you don't accept me soon I may go mad," he whispered, trying not to draw attention to the bodily manifestations his longings had left him with. He swallowed thickly, trying to even his breath. "My sister will be arriving soon. Perhaps you should go to meet her." He didn't want her to go but Eric knew he needed to be far from her for at least a short time if he expected to survive the evening's meal together. He'd had no idea that this particular time away from her had left him so completely desperate for her. Eric needed to get control of this, and it needed to happen now.