Secrets

Kelly sat for almost ten minutes alone in her room. She knew she looked better now because she could see that her eyes weren't as swollen and her nose wasn't red. She didn't look like she'd been crying, but instead looked tired. And she was, but that wasn't going to help her get to sleep tonight. Too many fears and worried swirled through her head to let her rest while awake. They wouldn't shut off just because it was time for her to sleep. If only she could somehow evolve an on and off switch for her brain...

The door opened without warning. Kelly felt a moment of panic. Oh no. Did he know? Could he tell?? Was she ready? She wasn't ready. What was she going to say to him?! Somehow, despite her brain's inability to form a complete thought, she heard herself say a soft and simple "Hi, Honey. How was work?" Slowly, following the automatic greeting, she stood from the bed and went to hug the man she'd loved for so many years. His strong chest was warm and welcoming, as it always had been, and he put his arms around her in a comforting embrace. He somehow had the uncanny ability to shut her brain off, like a switch, and let her relax for a moment in his arms. 

Derick kissed her forehead the way he always did. She could tell he was on auto-pilot too by his response. "Fine," he said as he released her from the brief embrace and moved past her into the room. She knew work wasn't "fine" because work was never "fine." Something was wrong. Kelly followed him into the room. "And how was your mom today?" Derick moved through the room in a matter someone might push through a room filled with jello, in a slow labored fashion. He dropped his keys and wallet on the desk and carried himself to the bed. In a heap he collapsed on it, answering her second question with another "Fine." She wished she's stop asking things. Couldn't she tell he was tired?

Kelly walked to her side of the bed while Derick kicked his shoes off. She crawled up next to him and rested her head next to his on his pillow. Derick hated when she did that. He loved Kelly, but there was such a thing as personal space, damn it. He sat up.

"I got a bonus today," she told him, sitting up as well, hoping talking about extra money might help cheer him up. It certainly did her. Derick hardly reacted at all.

"Oh really," he mused emptily. "Why's that?" Kelly could tell the question was one to be polite. He didn't really care all that much. There were bigger things on his mind.

She answer with an equally empty, "Overtime," then rested back into her own pillow. She'd already changed into her sweatpants and tank-top. Any minute Derick would change into sweatpants, maybe a t-shirt if he planned on going downstairs, but usually he didn't. They might watch a movie or eat a small supper, but it was late and they were both tired. Neither really wanted to do anything but sleep and avoid the subject on their minds. The secrets they both needed to share.